Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

Amanda Seyfried, Adam Brody on Parenting, Jennifer's Body and More - Variety

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

A Mix of These Specific Foods Could Help You Avoid Chronic Disease - ScienceAlert

It’s here now, writing to you.

The sadness was still there.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Simple blood test detects cancer up to 3 years before symptoms appear - Earth.com

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Why COVID 'Razor Blade' Sore Throat Hurts So Bad - WebMD

I had run out of hope.

And the sadness?

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What are the new technological advancements we should adopt?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

It’s still here.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Falling home prices are raising the risk of a deeper correction as the housing market cracks under high mortgage rates - AOL.com

You are like me, then.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs is facing trial — and these eccentric sketch artists - The Washington Post

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

37 Hidden Gems On Amazon That’ll Make You Think “Where Have You Been All My Life?” - BuzzFeed

I was tired of fighting.

Be who you already are.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Fastest Payout Online Casino: Lucky Creek Best of Instant Withdrawal Casinos - ACCESS Newswire

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.